Boulevard of Broken Dreams
by Tigris Lilium
Summary: Grissom is in his office at the end of shift when his thoughts trail to think of Sara…


**Title:** Boulevard of Broken Dreams

**Author: **BluesyEyes

**Rating:** K, drama/angst

**Summary: **Grissom is in his office at the end of shift when his thoughts trail to think of Sara…

**A/N:** I take no credit in the characters mentioned in this short fiction. It is a piece of fiction upon request from MissJorja17. This song is called, 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day. I take no credit for that as well. Thanks to everyone who reads this! Please review!

A story of Gil.

* * *

_I walk a lonely road,_

_The only one that I have ever known_

_Don't know where it goes_

_But it's home to me and I walk alone…_

He couldn't stand paperwork. It sat in front of him, piles upon piles of neglected work that was apparent to him now. He pushed it off, tried to push every one of them off in order to go out to the field and not have to do the one thing he didn't like about his job.

Of course, he never admitted to himself that he didn't like paperwork, but he normally got other people to do it for him. And normally, that one person would be Catherine.

He sighed, otherwise. He'd been working on these reports for the past three hours. Shift was almost over, and he looked forward to it. What happened to his optimistic opinion to his job? Maybe it was the people he worked with… no it was the paper work. He constantly told himself that it was his work.

But maybe it wasn't.

He sighed, his eyes casually glancing at the clock in regular intervals. What he told Warrick before? "If you're watching the clock, you're not watching the case." Even though at that moment, nothing pertained to anything so urgent as that one case, but in all honesty, it was valuable advice for him as well.

People knew him to be patient. How would they feel to know they were wrong? He was beyond patient. Inside, his entire being would turn when he was waiting. No one would ever see it, but truthfully, he went crazy if something wasn't happening.

Then again, no one knew him anyway. The closest person to ever knowing him was Catherine, but even then he kept her at a distance. He never told her anything so personal.

No one knew him and that was because he was completely terrified that someone would know his deepest secrets.

_I walk this empty street _

_On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams_

_Where the city sleeps_

_And I'm the only one and I walk alone…_

Running his hands along his beard, he turned through to the next case file. He wondered why the hell they had to go through case files anyway? Had they any clue how insanely horrible they were… well, except for the few files that actually resulted in another case being investigated in, but still, did they have any clue? No.

He let out a loud sigh. He was tired. He just wanted to go home, eat and sleep. He had already pulled a double earlier this week and this time, he just wanted to go home.

Home. He sighed. It wouldn't be called a home, more like a cave. An empty prison that he simply served himself the food he needs and the sleep he so pertained to having.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone_

He sat back from the case files and looked around his office. It wasn't so bad, his office. It made him feel at home. If he were to quit his job, he'd take this home and try to make a replica.

His pig fetus's kept him company enough, and he always enjoyed having his tarantula near him. He stood up to take a look. He looked at the tarantula, in a corner under some tree bark. He looked lonely.

Heading back to his desk, he sat back down to turn to the case file. Murders were a hard thing to deal with. Compartmentalizing was a part of the job. He wondered if he felt anything anymore.

_I'm walking down the line  
That divides me somewhere in my mind  
On the border line  
Of the edge and where I walk alone  
_

_I walk alone_

His thoughts drifted. He knew each of his team mates memories, their past, their sensitive issues. Catherine couldn't bear the thought of children dying, Warrick had an issue with gambling before. He didn't have it now, but it was still sensitive. Greg was afraid of bombs since the explosion at the lab.

Nick had to deal with having a gun to his forehead, being threatened, and be being buried in a glass coffin underground. How Nick had survived and come back to work completely baffled him.

And then there was Sara.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone_

He remember going to her apartment and she had told him everything. He wondered if she ever regretting telling him. He remembered standing by her at the mental asylum after she was threatened by a psychotic rapist, and she told him more.

She didn't regret it.

He was concerned for her. He still was. Whenever they had a case remotely related to her past, his mind would work a little harder and his affections would be a little more attentive toward her.

He shook his head. Affection… he wasn't an affectionate man, but he did care for her.

_I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk a...  
_

He closed the case file, determined to take a break. He stood up and exited his office. He walked by the DNA lab, seeing Mia working attentively on what he could only assume was Catherine's case.

He continued walking toward the break room and briefly stopping by the message board to see if there were any new cases. Of course, he would have gotten a page, but he still looked anyway.

He stopped before the break room and saw her with the rest of the team. She was laughing and smiling. Her eyes sparkled as she blew out the candles on her cake. Everyone sat around her, ready to give her a birthday present.

He had forgotten. Hadn't he written it down on his calendar?

He looked at her again as she laughed. It was music to his ears and he wished he was the one that made her laugh. He sighed and shook his head.

No, it wasn't his place. He wasn't welcome. He wasn't welcome into that warm embrace she offered everyone.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone..._

He turned, shoulders lowered and a low thud within his head beginning to resound. He walked off.

_I walk alone…_

Maybe one day… maybe they'd walk together. But until then, he'd walk alone


End file.
